One is reminded that it has been far too long since I contributed so much as a word to this space. All the way back to the sweltering days of summer the space has lain vacant of new thoughts and ideas, frivolities and ramblings. The baseball season and indeed even the hallowed time of the World Series has passed wordlessly. Why, you might ask if you actually gave a shit whether I wrote here or not? Neglect, I suppose. Writing for a living has been a blast and I find I do not take the time I used to just to write for myself. But tonight, I shall again return to my pages, free of censor and unbefouled or besmirched by an edito (note” the ones I work with on a daily basis are actually very good but its such a great line I had to use it).r.
Summer is indeed gone and the flowers are all dying. It was another good one. There were the usual misadventures and boating excursions and escapades. They seemed a bit more subdued this year, The War of Tic Tac and Peru continued unabated until late summer when some sort of mysterious ceasefire occurred and the battle has fallen silent. I suspect some sort of nefarious drug is being used but since TT would swallow any combination of pills anyway, we shall never know. New York was a frequent excursion where as always I managed to liberally mix business and pleasure. I traveled I beached, pooled and enjoyed the living shit out if it as always. Ah summer you fickle slut. Dancing in with hit days and warm nights, endless waves , sweaty cans of beer and frosted gin and tonics. You brings us fast boats, bikinis, star filled nights and so many pleasures and vices that make life such a journey of pleasure. Like all true women of a certain morally causal attitude that I have come to adore, you stay far too short a time before moving on but what a delight while you tarry with us.
Now, fall is among us and the leaves swirl through the roadways in the colorful annual dance that bids fond farewell to summer. The night air sweeps in crisp with the foreshadowing of winter on its wings. Soon it shall be upon us that most evil ex wife of a season. Although there will be moments of incredible beauty and even sensuality hidden in winters icy cloak, at heat she remains an icy foul hearted bitch of a season that tears at your soul with cold snow dripped fingers and cuts through your loins with icy northeast winds. There is only one thing to do at such time. That’s right, fuck it I m going to Florida! Give me the warm embrace of the luxurious sands and the welcome feeling of the warm winds upon my soul as the sun casts its protective warmth on my face. I ll be back for the worst of winter, but I ll spend December in Florida pretending the bitch does not exist and sleep untroubled by frozen dreams.
Lt us tackle the foul tasting subject of the stock market and economy before we move on to more pleasant subjects like fetid bowl movements and mid life circumcision. When this shit started last year I wrote that the persistent government intervention would make this all much worse. Big fucking surprise they have done exactly that. Had we just stepped back and let these fucking rocket scientists and idiots that make up Wall Street. The greedy shits who bought too much house based on a pipe dream a mentally challenged six year old could see was false as a strippers tits would have lost their houses, They are losing them anyway. The greedy scum sucking mortgage assholes who sold them that dream would be waiting tables. They are. A bunch of Wall Street firms would have gone under. They have. The market would have dropped 50% or more. It has and will continue to do so. Had we not not in our governmental wisdom intervened this all would have been over. Like new growth after a fire, there would have been new companies emerging by now to keep the financial markets vibrant. The larger regional banks that did not participate in the toxic rancid stupidity created by their larger brethren would have stepped in to fill the void ny now. We would be recovering. The market would have worked. It would have been painful, but could it possibly be worse than the ass raping we are currently seeing the market? I think not. We have trashed the balance sheet of the central bank, sold the soul of our constitution to Goldman Sachs and the greedy cocksuckers that created the mess in the first place. Now the line is forming for money. Please. Let us sell our souls for federal money. Take my hear, my soul , my balls and my brains . Just give me the money. You stupid fuckers should be fired and run out of town. You ruined your banks and brokerages. You fucked up the auto industry with stupidity and greed. For that matter fuck that pious son of a bitch from the UAW. Give me a god damn break. No concessions? Fuck you then, no job. This is the biggest rip off of not just our money but the character of our nation itself. We are nationalizing our financial industry s well as others. They strip away our rights for own protection with the patriot act and now they steal our very birthright to “preserve the financial system.” Listen you miserable ass wiping motherfuckers; you cannot get away with this. We are going to revolt. Right after the Simpsons, or maybe at halftime. It seems Jefferson is tight and a prosperous people will never preserve liberty. We will change as a nation as a result of this and I wonder what we will become.
As for the market itself there is a fortune to be made over the next several years. I see companies that are profitable trading for less then 3 times E/EBITDA. I see an ever growing list of companies that sell for less than cash in the bank. We are fast approaching the depths of an ugly bear market and there is money to be made. I am buying DAR, HDNG, DOW,ASH and other like a crack addict at a rock convention. I am shorting bonds because anybody that thinks we wont have to turn on the printing presses to pay for this clusterfuck is dumber than me with a naked woman in the room. I am hedging every thing I do. You have to. There is a fortune to be made but the trick is not to lose one while trying.
Let us move on to more pleasant subjects. It has been a good sports year so far, or at least interesting. I remain an Orioles fans for reasons that escape my tortured soul. Every time I am ready to give up on this wretched franchise and walk away to a better team to exhort, they do something to reel me in. Appointing McPhail to run the team and then letting him do it may actually work. We have a decent core and a lot of talent in the farm system. I tool several trips to Bowie this year and the double a club has some serious talent that is a half season or three away from coming up to the bigs. The Weiters kid has the tools to be one of the great catchers There may be brighter days ahead. Of course, just as we got some light, the damn Devil Rays got great. .They may have lost the Series but that is a very talented young ballclub. Add them to the yankees and goddamn scum sucking whale shit slurping red sox as perennial obstacles for my beloved birds. Torre made it to the playoffs while the Steinbrenners did not and the Cubs broke Chicago’s heart once again. It was baseball and I look forward to its return.
Navys football team is playing well and is bowl eligible already. They didn’t beat Notre Dame but they gave them a run for it. Maryland has been the surprise. They were not supposed to be this good. If they beat Florida State Saturday they have a pretty good path to the ACC title. The ravens are much better than expected. The kid Flacco appears to be the real deal and the defense is just plain fucking mean. The combination of violence and half dressed women on the sidelines continues to be one of those things that make the fall and winter a little easier to tolerate. Be even better from a beach bar in Florida next month.
It has been a great book year so far. Doc Ford has shown up as have all of parkers characters. All of my favorites have been prolific this year and the UPS guy is a regular delivering the new ones hot of the press on a regular basis. I have made several journeys to the book thing exchanging literally crates of books. Right now I am reading Michael Dobbs fictional trilogy based on Winston Churchill and they are a seriously good read. There has even been a release of unpublished Bukowski material. Andrew Greely had a new one and I almost went to mass after reading it. There are more in the next month and I intend to take bunch to the Sunshine state with me. Needless to say much of the depth of the cold shitty wet, nasty ass winter that awaits my return will be spent reading.
AH women. The saga of that continues in an unending circle and circus. Women, you foul, wonderful, evil, delightful, heartless, loving, repulsive , attractive, frigid, sexy creatures. The very bane and cause for my existence. Why must you always try to change me after we meet? How can you look at me , drink in one hand, cigarette in the other, playing poker while talking to my bookie on the phone all the while sitting in my apartment that I faithfully clean every Christmas and think I am going to change? Once again a contender for the one has turned into the Nag trying to change what she liked about me in the first fucking place. But onward I plunge. Faint heart never won fair lady and it doesn’t get laid very often either. I may never find her, the Lauren Bacall Dorothy Parker hybrid of my dreams, but I shall continue to search. It may perhaps be somewhat quixotic to do so but at least instead of dueling windmills I shall be undressing attractive women. Seems like a reasonable crusade from this seat.
The journey continues. The stream of this thing we call lie continues unabated until it no longer does. We do not when it ends or what comes next. Like the mind of a woman it is unknowable. What matters then must be the journey. What a cornucopia ( I can use that now. It is almost thanksgiving) has been laid before us. Drunken nights and summer days. Good books and great music. The smiles of our children, the laughter of our friends. First time sex and goodbye kisses. Coffee in bed on a winter morning. Fast boats and slow cruisers. Scotch and steak. First love and broken hearts. Fond hopes and bittersweet memories. They are all the fabric of our lives and we weave the tapestry as we progress along the way. I briefly contemplated the idea of growing up not too long ago and taking it all seriously. I cannot. I will not. I much prefer the childlike approach to life. In his book, The Last lecture, randy pausch said that one of the most important decisions you will make in life is whether you will be a Tigger or an Eeyore. I choose Tigger with abundant bouncing from misadventure to adventure. If tears be the occasional price of laughter then I gladly pay it. If the cost of drunkenness, bit it on booze, women, knowledge or beauty, is a hangover then I pay that price happily. Life is a gift f undetermined time and value beyond understanding. To grow up and approach it a mature somber fashion strikes me as pure idiocy.
It is for friends that I shall give thanks next Thursday. I am cooking this year. The kids and all those demented young adults they call friends shall descend upon my abode demanding copious amounts of free food and drink and I will revel in it. At some point however I shall raise my glass is a quiet toast to my friend, even those who insist of getting married and having babies thereby reducing our quality drinking time. From the Chicago crew to the new Yorkers, from tic tac to the talented blonde. Mr and Mrs tire Guy (dude you so married up), the bible pusher to the shacked up freeloader, the curmudgeonly options guy to the shaky electrician, from Kent Island to California and back again, it is you my friend who add the spice to this adventure. It is for you and to you that I give thanks.